sundays arent meant to be horrible. i mean, sundays are suppose to be joyful and nice days. and today's easter sunday! it should be happier. but NOOOOOOOO. i had a horrid time in church. frankly, i was so tempted to go to shixiong's church la. he asked me yesterday, but i said no, cuz i had tonnes of homework to do. then just now, in the afternoon, when i was feeling soooo horrible and bored, weijie asked me to go. weijie is a friend i made there. but i still said no. cuz i still have tonnes of homework to do. ahh, screw homework. >P.
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anyway, i jumped out of bed at 8.30. not because i was excited to go to church, because i was late. >.< i only had 15 minutes to prepare. and i had to dress a little more formally as i'm the usher for today's service. so i couldnt just put on a pair of jeans and a shirt. so anyway, i wasnt THAT late. just 10 minutes into the prayer meeting. heh. do you know how hard it is to put on a smile when you're having cramps? for my male blog fans, it is very hard. lols.
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i've never felt so terrible before, seriously.(it has nothing to do with the cramps. cramps are innocent this time.) anyway, i was stoning in church, after service, waiting for aish to reply. boohoohoo. she has tuition today. i wanted to ask her out. i just needed to talk to someone. talk about what? i dont know really. just someone to talk to. it's far better than sitting in church that's filled with people who dont even care about your existance. but yea, she had tuition. grace had to celebrate her grandmama's birthday. so she din stay behind after service. so i was left alone. so i was thinking whether i should study in church, or go somewhere else like mac to study, or go home and study. so i decided to go to macs. oh yea, someone asked me why i dont like to smile. dude.... you have no idea how much i like to smile. just that church doesnt really make me smile. i mean if i actually enjoyed myself, i would smile. i mean duhh.
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so anyway, i decided to go to potong mac to do my homework. oh yes, it is official. i am an introvert. >.< so.. i left church, feeling so desolated. i'ld like to thank my sister and the creator of iPod. thanks to iPod, i wasnt that lonely. lols. and my sister, who lent me her mp3. on my way out, she was like.
"where're you going?"
"uhhmm. anywhere i guess, if i cant find a place, home i guess."
"you're gonna walk round singapore by yourself??!?!" (gives looks of disbelief)
"uhhh.............."
then dion, the guy my sister was talking to, said: "ask her to join us laa." and well, i rejected the offer. okay, by now most of ya'll would be thinking that i'm alone mainly because i isolate myself and dont give people a chance. well, this applies for church only i guess, if you lifeliners even bother to read my blog. so anyway, why i din wanna go out with my sister and all was because, well, i guess they're, or rather dion and my sister, are asking me out of sympathy. call me a paranoid and a pessimist if you would, but that's how i really felt. and i wouldnt be surprised if it is true. and secondly, i've been getting this impression that people (in church that is) are thinking that all i can do is cling onto and tag along with my sis. either she has been telling people that, or they saw for themselves. but wait, who else can i go to? i mean other than grace and my sister? those people in church are not more than acquaintances to me. i mean though i've known them for 3,4 years, we were never close. and when they open their mouths, all i hear is mockery. well, they see it as jokes. but i dont.
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so yes, i walked out of church, feeling more alone than ever. anyway, enough about me and my turbulent emotions. i went to potong mac, and didnt feel like studying, so i just bought mcflurry and walked home. and yes, i would like to thank the creator and the inventor and the genius who created and invented MCFLURRY!!!!!!!!! that person should have the same IQ as the person who created and invented chocolates. heh. so i savoured MY mcflurry and walked home. mcflurry definitely cheered me up a whole lot. of course i bought it for myself. at times, you have to treat yourself though you are very very very broke. =(. it's funny how i'm still crazy over mcflurry all these years. i guess it's just like chocolate.
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oh yes, i got so frustrated doing amath yesterday, i gave up and went to bed. oh how i hate A. math. i dont get a single thing! maybe it's because i've been sleeping in class. who am i kidding? OF COURSE it's because i've been sleeping in class. but i just cant help it. i mean i only have 6 hours of sleep. and amath is always before recess. and i have no food, so i'll be sleepy. aww mann. i have to buck up. and physics too. but physics is mainly because of the teacher. i mean i'm not the only one who doesnt get what he's teaching. and that trainee, i have to say, is sooo lousy! i mean he explained something in 30 minutes, that aish explained to me in 2 minutes. get the picture? he isnt fit to be a teacher. well, at least for now. maybe under more years of training and experience, he'll be better. xDD. lols.
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tsktsk. mid-years in 2 weeks! yikes! time flies. really. i mean the day itself passes really slowly. but before you know it, it's the weekend. then, weekday. then the next month. and the next. and the next. and then, the june holidays, the december holidays. and i turn 15. and POOF! you're in year 2007!! wow. lols. i mean time just flies. it's like i just took these brand new subjects that i've never taken before, like a math. and in less than a month, i'll be sitting for that exam! AHHHHHH. it's gonna be very very hectic and stressful these few weeks i guess.
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oh yes, i just remembered something my pastor said. for those of ya'll who have read The DaVinci Code, and actually believe what it has said, this is for you. the author, Dan Brown, has admitted that the book is fraud and is purely fictional. so yes, those of you who are confused as to why it contradicts with the bible, it's because it's fiction. and for those of you who have heard about the gospel of Judas, dont be alarm. the gospel of Judas was written by one of the early cult groups. so yup yup. no worries. but that brings me to my next point. dont these remind you of false teachings and false prophets? or they really are. dont tell me end days are REALLY coming. i dont want it to come yet! i mean i'm still young!!!! i have not experienced so many of life experiences! i want to at least tour the world once, have a child, (hey! child labour is a very good experience, i mean guys do not have that privilege. lols.)experience moodswings when i'm having menopause (lols!), experience an earthquake(and not die!), see a volcano erupt, bungee jump, go scuba diving (or snorkling), sit on a plane for more than 24hrs (wait, that is part of the world tour part), get admitted into hospital, and stay there for at least 2 days, put on a cast, go for a surgery, get knocked down by a car and not die, and so many more!!!!!! lols. i'm side tracking a little too much. heh.
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alrighty, that's enough for one post. lols.
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toodles!
simple/elpmis
3:49 PM
